Dont just talk to yourself- argue too.

A strange little habbit of mine is talking to myself, now the best of us do it at some point, but mine seems to have developed in to argueing with myself, so when do you know you have crossed the line of normal self babble to worrying conversations that turn into a row, and just with yourself?

I found myself playing out an argument in my head, which in turn became vocal, maybe more than i had thought. heres me, walking happily down the road planning my perfect row with myself thinking i was the only one around. My row was to be with my ex, and as i decided against setting his car on fire, i thought a good old bust up would get it out of my system. so me being a perfectionist at the best of times wanted to plan how it would go, so i knew how to manipulate his retaliations to fit my planned answers. Then that way i knew i would again win the battle.

I started off with....... ME BOLD -HIM ITALLICS

Can we make this quick as im very busy as you well know
But you asked me to come and see you
Yes yes, enough with the little details, i believe an apology is in order
About time too, Its better we can be friends still
Well im waiting then! when your ready
huh? you want me to appologise? but.................
Fine, if you cant be big enough to accept when your wrong,
But i.........
No buts and will you stop interupting me, i thought we had progressed past this point of rows
but your the one who started it
Thats because you gave me reason to, why do you always make me feel like this
feel like what?
Like im not good enough, now look what you reduced me too *SOBS
Oh come here, i didnt mean to make you feel like that, im sorry.
Huh, so you admit your sorry which means your wrong, well i shall accept your appologies now please, stop harrassing me, i have a very busy life to lead.
But i wasnt saying sorry for cheating,
oh so now you admit you cheated you, you, you bastard.
But i didnt, thats what u accused me of.
Yes and you admitted it, plain as day.
Ok, well when your rea...........
NO, Thats all.

Anyway, as im happily walking along i hear some sniggers from behind, there was a group of teenage annoyances traipsing along behind me, obviously finding my trauma and toiled argument funny, orhaps it was because i was just talking to myself.

Well, there was no way i was losing face, so i pretended that my ipod earphones were my handsfree for my phone and made a big show of disconecting them from my ears, so then they would assume on the phone in a very heated and important call to my ex.

And yes it worked (along with a bribe of some ciggerettes to forget my face)

so if you will insist on rowing with yourself, its probably better to do it indoors.

OUCH!

I hate glass doors, just there to bloody well make me walk into them, well i am not going near anymore doors, unless i need to go out of course.

There is my face print on it, and i now have a busted lip, i wish that people would not clean them so thorough. glass patio doors are a menace, and i for one am having them replaced with bricks now!

OOPS, I believe i may have done it again :{

What is wrong with me! Every bloody time.

So i doubt im the only person in the world who is in this continuous evil circle of disaster dates, but when do you decide to nail it on the head and give up?

When i was 16 i got a bit of a reputation for being easy, i liked going out and meeting new people, and then the next night i would go out and meet another new people =)

it wasnt that i was easy, the thing with me is that i have always been looking for someone who would like me as much as i liked them, unfortunately i was always to stupid to see when someone was just pretending so that they could bed me ;(

Everytime i held out hope that this was the one, well here i am, 8 years later and i still fall for the same old lines, the same old tricks. As recent as last week i met this real great person, they were smoothe talking great looking, and genuinely seemed to like me, so i took up the offer of staying for a long weekend to get to know each other better. thing is that they know parts of me a whole lot better than the rest of me!

I had a few sms on my way back home, sayin they missed me already, which was actually a first, i was feeling great but something was niggling away at me, anyway, i was replying like you do, and then the sms became less frequent, no replies to alot of them, same old same old.

Well i knew the next sms i got would be when they were drunk and horny, and i was right on target. So yet again im here feeling like a twat, wishing i could get out of this circle, are some of us just here to be tricked in to bed?

And the most stupid thing is, here i am writing about what is plain to see, yet i cant help but fall for it everytime. It cant be my looks as im rated highly by many in catergory, including myself, and im actually really sweet, so why is it that people dont want more from me? at least i use one type of protection, shame they cant make the same for the heart.

Well, i am not falling for it anymore, i will not get laid again unless im sure that something will come of it (well, unless i need a quickie) i guess everyone has to know when enough is enough and to take control of the reins.

So heres till tomorrow when i go falling for it all over again.

Cheers

I have a confession to make.....

Well, not so much a confession as an admission of a character flaw. About 3 months ago i managed to lose one of my DVD's, now i suffer from being perhaps slightly obsessive, i have no idea as to why im like that, but when it kicks in....well be worried.

Now this DVD i managed to lose (although i suspect someone somehow snuck in and stole it) has been driving me crazy, i live in a minamalistic styled appartment, its always clean, tidy and everything is in order (the obsessive side rises again) Now i have turned my appartment upside down searching for this bloody DVD, and not just once or twice.

You probably think....why doesnt he go and buy himself a new one, well that would probably be the best option, and it would also stop this crazy searching im putting myself through, but that is not an option because
A) even if i buy a replacement i wont be able to help myself from searching.
B) if i buy another one its certain the lost one will make itself shown.

This has been driving my other half crazy too, not the fact that its lost, but the fact that everytime they see me i am searching for that bloody DVD, Only yesterday i was caught searching for it once again behind the cabinet, and was asked.......

Them "What are you doing now"
Me "Uhm, nothing, i just thought that maybe.....nothing"
Them " your not looking for that DVD still are you?"
ME "NO, i looked here already, that would be insane, but......well"
Them "Jaiden, are you looking again, this has got to stop!"
ME: "Alright, im looking for that stupid bloody DVD, OK!"
THEM: *Looked stunned, perhaps even a little frightened, lol*

With this i walked away, and continued my search, under the bed (Again) in the drawers, the window sills, hell, i even searched the Bathroom this time, and why would a DVD be in the bathroom, off i went through the cabinets, towel shelves, even to the point that i had convinced myself my other half had taken the bath side off and hidden it under there just to wind me up, so of came the bath side, but nothing apart from some pipes and a scary looking spider- which immediately met his maker via a rolled up copy of cosmopolitan and several whacks!

Now i cant see why someone would want to do this to me? its driven me insane, my friends running for the hills and my other half crazy at the way i have been with it all. Now today i got the crazy idea that the gas man stole it, so i got on the phone to them and when they answered i didnt know what to say, i could hardly say " Hi, yes your gas man stole The others from me" what sense would that make, and what if i was wrong? so i hung up :(

well today i also find myself hunting around again, though i promised myself that i would stop, i find myself opening the kitchen draw for a sharp knife (lol, im not that crazy) to cut some tomatoes, i open the draw and find myself removing it to look underneath.

So if anyone knows where this elusive DVD may be hiding, please let me know.

Is BIG really Beautiful? erm....NO!

Obesity is not something to be proud of!

So you head to a nice little town in the countryside, everything looks so quaint and pretty, and then you spot a Big ugly block of apartments and it ruins the view........Well, the same applies to people.

My opinions here may not please many people, but those people it wont please will more than likely be those that relate to what im saying, with 8 million people in the UK being obese and most of America, its only a matter of time before the pressure on the planets surface causes the earth to implode. Now im not saying that being over weight is a particularly bad thing, but theres a reason why its called OVER WEIGHT! Because its OVER a weight thats healthy.

The world has gone crazy, it is far to accepting of fat people nowadays. Panoramic cameras were invented so that people could fit in the pictures, like a scary premonition of what was to come. Now, ok some people have medical conditions that make them gain weight, But then theres those people who claim to have a condition.....I believe its called over indulgence and Laziness. It makes me so mad when i go out to eat and theres some fat person eating a salad looking smug that they have lettuce on the plate, and next to the plate are 7 rounds of bread smothered in an inch of butter, a mountain of potatoes, and a block of cheese.


Fat peoples diet rules! these are myths and do not work!

Eating food off of someone else's plate means that its the other persons calories, so they don't count towards your calorie intake.

Lettuce is not healthy when it has been deep fried- don't kid yourself.

Cutting food portions in half means half the calories....which means you can eat twice as much! who are you kidding?

Eating a whole tub of ice-cream because it says low fat does not justify eating a WHOLE TUB!



DESIGNER CLOTHING!

In my opinion, anyone who eats carbs does not deserve to wear Dolce & Gabanna, its a well known fact that clothes look better on a well balanced body, it makes me furious when i overhear a fat person moaning that they wish there would be some nice clothes for them to wear, I have been in a store before when a friend tried on a gorgeous outfit in a uk size 8, there was a woman in there at an erm... "Ample" size 18 trying on the same outfit, she then commented how my friend looked much better in it, to which my friend and i agreed. See, the thing is that even when fat people have the same clothes us thin people, it clings rather than hugs, and it just does not drape nicely!

I Applaud those manufacturers of the tent for larger people to wear, you know, the ones with ugly floral prints and Hawaii style, because being faced with having to wear something that vulgar is enough to make anyone want to lose a stone or Ten.

Big and curvy!

The last thing that drives me mad with overweight people - and this one is aimed at the woman, is when your a size 14-48, and keep trying to trick yourself into believing that being big automatically puts you in the class of curvy! To be curvy you need to have a larger bust than waist, and then hips that are in proportion with your bust. Its not when your Stomach is bigger than the rest! Thats not curvy, i believe its called CURVED AT 360' Degree's. A size 6 can be curvy, as can a size 12,14 16 18 and up, unfortunately, usually big girls are just round.....so don't call yourself curvy please, its unfair to those that are!

Overweight children

When i see an overweight child i feel so sorry for them, i don't mean chubby kids, or those with a bit of puppy fat, i mean those fat children that are always eating and are bigger than all their friends. in my eyes the parents of those children should be ashamed of themselves! its child abuse, setting the child up to continue getting larger, teasing at school, bullying outside of it, no nice clothes to wear when they are older, and eventually probably heart disease! If you have a fat child you have to think about their future, do you really want them to go through all of that?


So Please, please, please, just remember that being fat is not something to be ashamed of, but you shouldn't be proud of it either, unlike skin colour, hair colour, and sexuality, obesity is something that you can control, something that you can change, people are not born fat, they just let themselves get that way.


This is just my opinion on the matter of obesity and why people should not be encouraged to be proud to be bigger than what is healthy and unsightly, i wont appologise if it hits a nerve, sometimes people need a boot in the backside to motivate them to better health and image.

Britney spears to marry Mr Fatty Hairplugs? we hope not!

Britney Spears elopes again?


showbiz circles are abuzz with rumours troubled pop star Britney Spears is planning to marry again.

The groom-to-be is reported by American celebrity magazine Staras "Mr Fatty Hair Plugs" Sam Lufti.
Lufti is variously described as her personal assistant, manager and close friend and confidant.

It's not like she hasn't eloped before. elopement is never out of the question for Spears, who married childhood sweetheart Jason Alexander in a Las Vegas wedding that was annuled 55 hours later.

Federline is reported to be furious about his ex-wife's plans, i mean of course he is, who wouldnt be when they have been replaced with one of david guests lookalikes? The man sam lufti is absolutely repulsive looking, a bit of a mr "Fatty Hairplugs"

And apparantly rumors are flying around that he is more than just a little bit poofy, still whatever tickles her fancy hey.

So heres a picture of mr Fatty Hairplugs- And brit, i dont hate you britney, i dont even dislike you, in fact i do actually like you, your new album rocks, why not take a break from all the ugly He-whores out there and focus on your kids.

WTF! OOOPS! They did it again.

The Spears clan do it again!

Jamie Lynn Spears says she is pregnant

Another Spears baby is reportedly on the way — and it's not Britney's. Jamie Lynn Spears, the 16-year-old "Zoey 101" star and sister of Britney, told OK! magazine that she's pregnant and that the father is her boyfriend, Casey Aldridge.

Jamie Lynn plans to raise the baby in her home state of Louisiana — "so it can have a normal family life."

ERMMMMM, so it will be dragged through divorce courts, parental rights visits, drugs, drinking and trips to rehab, to eventually have a brief career and burn out at the old age of 14 with the 5th child on the way, still, it could ave been alot worse, the poor little sod could have been the offspring of that he-whore K-FED.

What message does she want to send to other teens about premarital sex? "I definitely don't think it's something you should do; it's better to wait," she told the magazine. "But I can't be judgmental because it's a position I put myself in."

No shit jamie lynn, i believe the position your reffering to is called the missionary position, where you lay on your back. And she is worried about premarital sex? WTF about safe sex, just because your married it doesnt stop you catching desieses, how about you try to promote that instead?

Premarital sex is not bad in the slightest, you wouldnt buy a car without a test drive, would you? no! but when you take that test drive would you drive blindfolded at 90 mph without wearing a seat belt? well actually dont answer that.

Anyway, at least theres the next generation of spears coming through to keep us all entertained.

So Jamie Lynn, heres hoping its a healthy pregnancy and all goes well, Sh*T happens, Hell, atleast you can make some extra cash outta selling it to ok magazine right?